Impromptu

tic tac, tic tac. heart beating fast. pulse racing. hands sweating. knees trembling. tic tac, tic tac. and they call my name...

speaking to a group of people isn't really my forte. i look relaxed every time i am in front of a crowd, but i am not. i am a great pretender.

i am not a writer. and i am definitely not a public speaker. but as i am standing behind the podium, all eyes in my direction. a sudden calmness took hold of me.

this may not be my skills, but if this is part of my calling who am I to fight it.

story: it was a normal, boring, work day on a Thursday.  when i suddenly got a phone call from one of my best friend in a panic mode. she asked if i could speak to a bunch of college students in University of the Philippines Los Banos.

they have a film viewing of the indie movie entitled "NOY" which my friend's company co-produce. all i have to do was introduce the film before the actual showing takes place.

i tried my best to get away from it, but something is telling me to say Yes.  so i did.

there was a short script to read. i am good. i am safe. this will be easy. nothing to worry about. got the text of the script... in Tagalog. my friend is slowly trying to kill me, i just know it.

i keep convincing myself, "i can do this! i can do this!"

it was a short brief on what to expect when we get there. in the one hour drive, i restlessly process in my head the script that was given to read. as we near UPLB, its started to hit me. no turning back. this is real.

the student organizers greeted us with enthusiasm. as we walk to the main venue, entered the location, i immediately roam my eyes on the number of seats. yes, this is not a joke.

we were seated at the front. one of the student emcee approached us and asked for my information on how to be introduced. just my name will do. i look at my best friend with a cry for help in my eyes, am i really doing this?!

i thought that was it. introduce. show the film. and we are out of there.

turns out, there were 2 showing of the film. meaning, i have to introduce the movie again on the next viewing. and to top it of with a cherry, there is a question and answer forum about the movie after the viewing. yes, my friend is really trying to kill me. and this time not slowly anymore.

confession: i haven't watched the film. i only know of its synopsis through the script i was about to read.

now, i am obliged to watch the movie. and stay all the way through the end. another confession, i don't watch local films.

tic tac, tic tac. lights dimmed. student organizer started the program. my hands all sweaty holding the piece of paper i was about to read. and then, my name was called..

as i stand behind the podium, consciously reading the script. voice in my head saying "don't mess up the words!" great. that will sure help me out.

then, i hear myself say "maligayang panonood." i am done. whew!

went back to my seat. watched the movie. and i must say, bravo. good story, good acting, good cinematography, good sequencing, good twist and good ending. all in all, 4.75 stars. in my opinion at least.

credits rolling. lights opened. this is it. the Q&A. and i was halfway processing the movie.

we were called back to the front of the venue. biting my lips a hundredth time, i think. and the questions started coming and i started answering, with my friend's help with the technical aspect of the film.

it is a miracle. i tell you it is. a sudden calmness overpowered me, and i couldn't wait for the next question to be asked. i tried my best to answer.

the film is about change. change your life. change your perspective. and hope for change. the one aspect in life that i am currently trying to do. change.

now i know, this is not a coincidence. i was placed in a situation to give my 2 cents thought on the quering minds of the youth. this is my chance to inspire and to be heard. and to somehow influence in an indirect manner.

its not just about teaching them, but us learning as well.  i was overwhelmed with how they took the film and relate it to different factors of life. how others see the smallest detail that some didn't and how it has a great contribution to the film. how they raised questions without fear wanting for answers. that to me is a blessing.

even through the next viewing, the feedback was tremendous. how the unending "thank you" and appreciation was given to us, connotes that we did a good job.

now i understand. my friend doesn't owe me a favor, i owe her. for this experience not only thought me to trust myself. it also thought me to open my eyes on whatever event that happens in your life is a learning.

not just because we are older than them that we have everything figured out.

life will give us impromptu situations. and we will feel we were set up.

but this time, instead of asking Why.
maybe, we should start asking How.

~A



shout out to my friend, kata. thanks dude! it was a great experience indeed. next project, here we come.