but now, am back. and glad i did.
due to the massive traffic in SLEX on a rush hour, i decided to take the bus to Makati. my sprained ankle hasn't completely healed, it won't able to handle the endless stop and go.no traffic driving for me.
it's nice to just sit back and enjoy the ride. i was even able to catch up on my book reading and a nap on the way.
i haven't been to Makati for a very long time. and i must say, i was somewhat culture shocked with the changes that have taken place over the years of my haitus.
the flood of people walking around is amazing. it sure is a district of everything. from malls, to offices, to restos, to whatever.
it is the place where every type of people co-exist. may it be gay, straight, old, young, weird, plain. all types, all class. but i must admit, i am not a fan of mobs and huge crowd. that is why i seldom go to generic malls.
i forgot about the long walk i have to endure from the bus stop to the location. as i started walking, slowly i am regretting not bringing a car. it was a long walk.
but when i got there. it was worth the steps. and my ankle didn't seem to mind.
i was a stubborn child. i thought i can handle things alone. no need for his guidance. no need for His blessing. and when things don't work out, even if i neglected the presence, He never failed to be known.
yes, this i think is a spiritual blog. so better get your hearts ready. this will be heavy.. am rhyming again.
Coach Edgar from BOL Bataan was the guest speaker for the night. eager to know what the topic is, i impatiently wait.
and then he said it.. CHANGE. coincidence? i don't think so.
God was speaking to me. yes, change.
i was leaning my way to what i think was right, when moments are telling me its not. but i didn't listen. i am happy, and i didn't care. like i said, i was stubborn.
He was showing me that its not yet time for some things, but i insisted on my own wanting. and where did it get me? broken and confused.
let me share a few details from the service and hopefully somehow will make you think too.
"the mind is a battlefield where all the decisive battles of life are won or lost." it talks about Mindset Transformation.
we sometimes want to change the people and situation around us. when it doesn't happen, we get frustrated and distress. when He is telling us, that we should first change ourselves. it should start from within, and everything around will follow.
as Leo Tolstoy put it, "Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself."
our actions are brought about by our thoughts. it is influenced by the mind.
(based on Coach Edgar's teachings) How to change your thinking?
stage 1: changing the way you think will not come automatically. it doesn't happen overnight. don't rush.
stage 2: changing the way you think will require effort. it takes a great deal of work. you don't just think of changing. you must act too and follow through.
stage 3: changing the way you think is worth the investment. the patience and effort will be worth it.
stage 4: changing the way you think can be the best gift you can give to others. as you change your thinking, the body will follow. then people around you will take notice. and inspire them to do the same to better their life.
Change. one of the biggest hurdle i am in for the past few months. i was too scared to get out of my comfort zone. too coward to take risks. too frighten to take the next step. and now, the time has come.
God has answered my question. He just needs me to see and realize. He needs me to let go. He needs me to give up my hearts desire. for a better reward awaits for those who are patient.
its time i change my mindset. its time i change. and this time.. i am not backing out.
a new life awaits.
~A
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